Normally weekends are a time for enjoying friends and family, relaxing, being productive, and basically whatever else I want it to be. This weekend was exactly that… and then some.
This weekend I watched 4 movies: The Devil Wears Prada (my current DVD obsession), Twilight Part 2 (with no shame), Skyfall (so good!), and Snow White and the Huntsman (Corey put it best, the movie was as anti-climactic as Kristen Stewart). I also made dinner last night/lunch for today, caught up with a few friends, read, and decided I need a fish. Need.
Something else I did this weekend was take a hardcore look at my expectations. Big and little expectations that I currently hold were brought up.
First, little. I absolutely LOVED Twilight Part 2. With no shame. I went into the movie expecting it to be awful. I’ve seen all the other movies and was terribly disappointed. I own all the books and while it’s not the best story out there (by far?), I still enjoyed it. But seriously people, this last movie was SO good. I want to say why it was so good, but I’m worried someone will read it and think I’ve given something away so I won’t. Anyway, my point is that I expected to dislike it. I expected that it would be just as bad as the others and was happily surprised when it was so good that I literally gasped at a turn of events. Again, no shame.
Second, big. One of my flaws in relationships (not just with a boy, with friends too) is that I have set expectations on how it will go, how I will be treated, when things will happen, etc. I’ve learned over the last 2 or so years that it isn’t healthy to have so many expectations. Later Saturday night I feel like I was slapped in the face with a dose of reality. Not in a bad way, but in a way that forced me to look at where I am right now. Part of the problem is that I said that I absolutely wanted certain things when I was 20 and was in a relationship with someone for 3+ years. The thing is, I have changed. I can’t say I’m where I thought I’d be at 25, but when I let go of those expectations I had at 20 I realize that I’m happy. I have a great family, supportive friends, a loving boyfriend, a job that I’m learning to love, an apartment that you’re probably tired of hearing me say how much I love. This doesn’t mean I don’t want certain things, but after a conversation on Saturday night I realized that I am happy where I am. I have made choices that I wouldn’t have at 20, but that doesn’t make them wrong.
One last one. When I first started my new job 3 weeks ago today I was convinced I’d love it from the start. It was my dream company after all. How could I not? The thing is, it has been hard. I haven’t wanted to say anything to anyone because I went on and on about how thrilled I was. I was worried that it would make me look flighty. I immediately liked the people I would be working closest with and almost immediately learned that learning a whole new job is hard. I felt overwhelmed, self-conscious, intimidated, and worried. My expectations had failed me. Then something happened this morning… it clicked. What I am supposed to be doing in my job clicked. Not everything, but it was nice to let go of wondering when I’d get it and just let it happen. It was a pleasant surprise for a Monday morning. 🙂